Aloha people!  On Friday I am flying out to Hawaii.  Sun, surf, sea and sky… it is totally my idea of Utopia.  Please excuse me while I imagine a sun soaked beach with a slide guitar serenading in the background… as you can guess my head is already in vacation mode.    

I am very grateful to have the opportunity to travel, especially as I get to spend this trip with my immediate family.  The trip comes off the back of what has been the most challenging year I have experienced in my career thus far.

This year I chose to undertake two different secondments, both with a high focus on supporting people through a turbulent change process in my workplace.  I know I have a natural strength for empathising and facilitating the development of others, but I underestimated how the challenges are amplified when an environment is dowsed in uncertainty.

During the year I was also involved in numerous activities including being a member of my industry’s National Executive Committee.  I also supported my family through a few personal issues too.

Psychologically I feel as though my mind is crawling towards a finish line. I guess the idea of getting on that plane has created a sense of anticipation, albeit a tired and fatigued one at best.  I am not going to beat around the bush.  My vase is empty and I feel exhausted.  I guess some may call it burnout.

The warning signs were tiredness, pain in the body, strained eye-sight, and headaches.  It later manifested into low mood, an inability to focus and concentrate properly, and a lack of interest in pursuing activities.  I would snap and take it out on my partner.  I definitely felt my mental health was sliding downhill about two months ago.

I remember the moments when I began feeling resentful towards others and then myself.  At worse I would blame myself for not being good enough and began doubting my abilities and talents.

Having experienced depression in my early twenties, I was able to recognise these were unhealthy thoughts and realised I needed to do something about it.  I was determined not to let myself suffer in silence.

Fortunately I was able to tap into friends and family who were able to help and ‘boost’ me in different ways.  If you happen to be reading this post, then I say a big THANK YOU to you.  Your kind words, pearls of wisdom, advice, jokes and laughs mean a lot to me.  I find it so amazing that there is a huge amount of aroha out there.

Conversations with others have helped me to put things into perspective.  I have opted out of some of my commitments.  I am reminded to look at the big picture rather than stay in a funnel.  I have been told many times to take care of my SELF.  People are way more understanding than we are lead to believe.

So here I am, sitting in my lounge reflectively typing and happily thinking about the cool Hawaiian breeze…

Here are some useful links on managing positive mental health:

https://www.mentalhealth.org.nz/home/ways-to-wellbeing/

http://www.forbes.com/sites/learnvest/2013/04/01/10-signs-youre-burning-out-and-what-to-do-about-it/#116b5e055e01

https://mhaw.nz/

http://www.workingwell.co.nz/index.php/resources/articles/257-mental-wellbeing-in-the-workplace.html